La familia de Ivonn y Luisa

Por Ana de Alejandro

 

Como lesbiana aprendí que todos los días tienes que salir del clóset y con el tiempo que el “exhibicionismo,” es decir la visibilidad, es necesario todos los días, porque todos los días te topas con gente ignorante o cuadrada.

Luisa Embarcadero

 

 

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Foto de portada en el Facebook personal de Luisa

La Ciudad de México está llena de historias, cada una tan única y conmovedora como las demás. Ésta es la de Luisa y su esposa Ivonn. Ellas forman una familia lesbomaternal y juntas son Mami y Mamá de Mike1)“Mike” se pronuncia Mique, no Maic. Le dicen así por un comercial de desodorante que plantea “haz el amor y no la guerra” en el que sale una chica diciendo Mike con acento europeo. de 2 añitos. También forman parte de la familia sus mascotas, o “perrhijos” como los llama Luisa, Xola María, Choco, Victorius y Kenzo, que han sido adoptadxs, porque ellas tienen un gran corazón.

Luisa, que ahora tiene 37 años, supo que era lesbiana desde el kínder. Se dio cuenta porque le gustaba una niña, “la abrazaba mucho y quería besarla, todos los días me emocionaba verla en la escuela”.  Luego, en primaria tuvo la primera novia, pero nunca se puso a pensar que “eso estaba mal”. Luisa salió del clóset a los 17 años con su familia, papá, mamá y hermanxs. “En resumen, todxs dijeron ‘ya lo sabíamos’. Mi hermano fue el único que se puso loco y no me habló 6 meses, hasta que mi papá lo regañó”.

Ivonn, de 43 años, es lesbiana auto reconocida desde los 6 años, “me di cuenta, ya que teníamos unas vecinitas de la edad y algo me pasaba cuando estaba cerca de ellas. Me entusiasmaba mucho al verlas y quería estar oliéndolas. Además de ser hermanas entre ellas, estaban bien bonitas y me enamoré. Ya confirmado mi amor, me enamoré de la profesora de español, hasta declarármele”.

Para Luisa, la decisión de ser madre vino de forma natural porque “cuidé a casi todxs mis sobrinxs y experimenté que mis hermanxs me dijeran que no me metiera en su educación. Supe que quería formar una persona con base en mis aciertos y errores. En el fondo, a veces pienso que quise ser madre porque me dijeron que no podría serlo, biológicamente hablando.” Con esto Luisa se refiere a las dificultades que presenta su cuerpo para concebir. Por otra parte, Ivonn menciona que ella decidió ser madre como una forma de permanencia en este mundo, “decidí ser Madre para seguir existiendo por medio de alguien mágico y mostrar cuanto amor se puede dar.”

Luisa describe la crianza que ejerce con Mike como una crianza respetuosa y con apego, de momento “está en la guardería, pero por mi parte podría educarse en casa.” Explica que en un futuro preferiría intentar el homeschooling2)Educación en el hogar., “si seguimos en este país para cuando Mike tenga 6 años, porque el sistema educativo tanto público, como privado es deficiente.” A lo anterior Ivonn agrega jubilosa, “¡yujuuuu! Crianza con apego,” y luego se describe a sí misma como una mamá “muy barco, justa, loca, amable, que ama y que le agrada dar y recibir.” Estas madres, enamoradas de su hijo comparten con cariño cada uno de sus nuevos aprendizajes. Luisa nos comparte emocionada que recientemente Ivonn les enseñó a dar “pastillitas de amor.” Luisa nos explica que Mike “junta sus deditos y los pone en los labios de la persona” como si le estuviera una cápsula de cariño.

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Mike hace “pastillitas de amor con los dedos”.

Entre los trámites que Ivonn y Luisa han realizado juntas como pareja del mismo sexo se encuentran ejercer su derecho al matrimonio igualitario y el registro de su bebé con los apellidos de las dos madres en el acta. “Mike tiene los apellidos de ambas,” aclara enfáticamente Luisa. Ivonn comenta que “sí, me tuve que casar, para que Mike tuviera menos dificultad al ser registrado, como una semana antes de su nacimiento. Ya solo falta tramitar pasaporte y visa. Urge.”

Como muchas compañeras de la Red de Madres Lesbianas en México, Luisa nos cuenta que ella también ha experimentado la discriminación en su vida. “Hace años era de las que decía que no había enfrentado discriminación, pero era porque no sabía reconocerla. Una vez iba de la mano en la calle con mi esposa, cuando todavía era mi novia, y un machirrín en un carro nos gritó: ‘¡LESBIANAS!’ Yo le respondí, también gritando: ‘¡¡Y A MUCHA HONRA!!’. Además, recuerdo que desde la secundaria se burlaban de mi llamándome ‘machorra’ y yo les contestaba: ‘¿eso por qué sería un insulto?’ También en la prepa se burlaban de mí llamándome igual, pero nunca dejé que me afectara. Una vez cruzando el patio de la prepa, iba de la mano de mi mejor amiga y nos gritaron ‘¡ALESBIÁNENSE!’ Ella me abrazó y me dijo: ‘nunca dejes que te afecte’. Ella sigue siendo mi mejor amiga heterosexual desde hace 21 años.”

Uno de los retos que Luisa ha enfrentado como madre y/o lesbiana ha sido explicarles a las personas en su trabajo cómo se convertiría en madre y por qué no era necesaria una licencia por maternidad. “Ellos dentro de su ignorancia y buenas intenciones me concedieron una licencia por ‘paternidad’. La entrada a la guardería fue otro reto fuerte, pero creo que con Mike todos los días es un reto y una maravillosa aventura que no me imagino sin la esposa.”

Luisa asegura que “ambas somos madres de Mike, no hay una ‘mamá mamá,’ ni una ‘verdadera mamá,’ ni una ‘mamá gestante y mamá no gestante,’ ni ‘mamá biológica.’” Y agrega con énfasis, “decidimos entrarle a la maternidad AMBAS y eso NADIE lo puede cambiar.”

Para Ivonn, si hubiera algo complicado de ser madre lesbiana, sería tener que salir constantemente del clóset. “Como madre lesbiana,” dice, “sigo enfrentando a las personas todos los días, ya que, salgo constantemente del closet con doctor, dentista, maestra de guardería, directora, mecánico, etcétera. Me doy cuenta que, al hablarles con seguridad de una esposa e hijo, las respuestas son variadas.” Ella además piensa que explicar con claridad su identidad de lesbiana que es madre y está casada con otra mujer ayuda a combatir la ignorancia. “También me enseña que hablar con propiedad les aclara cosas de las que solo tienen desconocimiento, como alguna vez me preguntaron, pero ¿quién es el hombre y quien la mujer?”

Así es como Ivonn toma la molestia diaria de salir del clóset como una oportunidad para educar a las personas con las que convive en temas de identidad sexual, género y demás temas que le parecen importantes. “Por supuesto, al mencionar que no hay diferencia entre ponerte ropa color rosa o azul les aclaras dudas y más si lo dices con mayor seguridad.”

Lo único que Luisa cambiaría en su vida es el país de residencia, “y que pudiera tener hijxs biológicxs para darle unos 3 hermanxs más a Mike”. De su vida tal y como la vive ahora, lo que más le gusta es la libertad de ser mujer, ser lesbiana, y ser madre totalmente fuera del clóset. Por su lado, Ivonn piensa que ella, “no cambiaría nada, ya que todo me preparó para estar donde estoy. Me encanta que soy independiente, que decido lo que quiero, donde quiero y por donde lo quiero, que lo desconocido me da más ganas de enfrentarlo.”

Luisa comenta sobre su llegada a la Red de Madres Lesbianas en México que “cuando supimos que Mike venía en camino, nos pusimos a investigar para su registro y la novia de una amiga nos contó de Ana de Alejandro y su grupo de madres lesbianas.” Al respecto ella piensa que la red le ha traído “puras cosas buenas, la mejor ha sido el feminismo. Amistades entrañables a las que les puedo decir que las amo con todo mi corazón sin miedo a ser confundido con un amor sexual o romántico sino basado en la sororidad de ser mujeres y ser madres. Me ha dado las herramientas para cambiar el mundo.” Por lo anterior, ella “todo el tiempo” recomienda la Red de Madres Lesbianas en México a otras madres lesbianas. Ivonn agrega que ella se la recomienda “a cuanta persona que se mueva y respire como lesbiana.” También se ríe al recordar su llegada a la Red, “mi esposa me platicó que alguien de un grupo podía ayudarnos con las dudas del nacimiento de Mike y demás trámites necesarios. (En las reuniones) llegamos a conocer a una chica por demás rara, con cabello de color rosa magenta y muy entusiasta.”

Ivonn comparte su opinión para otras compañeras que desean emprender el camino hacia la crianza, “noto que esto de tener hijos, a algunas les emociona y considero lo hacen por ver qué pasa, pero hay que darle mucha importancia a que tendremos a un ser a quien descomponerle la vida si no tomamos las decisiones adecuadas.” El consejo de Luisa sobre maternidad para otras madres lesbianas es hacer un ejercicio de Maternidades Lésbicas Visibles, “V I S I B I L I D A D, llegando al EXHIBICIONISMO,” remarca enfáticamente.

Ivonn y Luisa con Mike en una reunión de la Red de Madres Lesbianas en México en el Bosque de Chapultepec. Fotografía de Tatiana Sotres.
Ivonn y Luisa con Mike en una reunión de la Red de Madres Lesbianas en México en el Bosque de Chapultepec. Fotografía de Tatiana Sotres.

Notas al pie   [ + ]

1. “Mike” se pronuncia Mique, no Maic. Le dicen así por un comercial de desodorante que plantea “haz el amor y no la guerra” en el que sale una chica diciendo Mike con acento europeo.
2. Educación en el hogar.

3.514 comentarios en “La familia de Ivonn y Luisa

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